Tuesday, January 25  

Queer

Vic wakes up in the middle of the night feeling queer.

queer adj. 1. Deviating from the expected or normal. 2. Odd or unconventional. 3. Of a questionable nature or character. 4. Fake; counterfeit.5. Offensive Slang Homosexual.

Clearly, the dictionary has not caught up with the latest trend in self/sexual categorization. Queer is a good thing now. Nothing offensive about it.

Vic's been referring to herself as "queer" for years. Since she tried so seriously to be straight with William, found herself supernaturally inclined to grope women in dark danceclub corners, left William for one of them, then left her for another, and another, and another (ad nauseam for all parties involved) then ended up sleeping with boys again anyway. Stumped by her own inability to make up her mind, she settled on Queer as a sort of no-man's (but not really) land between her noisly clamouring sexual drives.

With Graycie on her hip, which could be thought evidence to the contrary by the unknowing public, Vic sometimes forgets that she is queer. She lives straight, thinks straight, talks straight. But she does not dream straight, it seems.

She wakes up from a dream that she is dressed like a teenaged boy. She is shorter than she really is, but that's probably neither here nor there. In the dream, she is avidly attracted to another woman who is dressed like a boy. They rub and press against each other in a concealed area of a public place. Vic is conscious (in her subconcious) of feeling like a man who is sleeping with a man, which excites her beyond description, even while knowing she is actually woman with a her hand pressing into a woman, tongue in her mouth and pantingly aroused by her.

Just when you think you know yourself, your dreams have a way of keeping things interesting.

Comments:

It must me the moon phase or something: I woke up at 4:45 terrified from a dream where I was going to marry Peter Jennings but have to leave my girlfriend and the neighborhood I love in exchange for a jetset, VIP party life. I felt like crying when I woke up.

Woodstock

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